Carmen Lynch loves performing for the troops, hates lengthy YouTube videos

You probably aren’t reading these words right now, and I don’t blame you.

You’re most likely focused on the photo that accompanies this interview with stand-up comic Carmen Lynch. Why wouldn’t you be? It’s the best photo I’ve seen this month. Maybe this year.

The picture contains two of my favorite things on Earth: hot peppers and a really funny stand-up comedian. I also love the contrast of Lynch’s polka-dotted dress against the jagged lines in the backdrop and Lynch’s left pinkie is extended at the classiest of angles.

Now, if you’re ready to dive into the interview portion of this interview, thank you. Glad you’re here. You can read about a Lynch “fan” who gave her a compliment on a bit that wasn’t hers, the power of silence in a killer joke she told on Letterman and her experience performing for the troops overseas.

For more Lynch, visit her website, follow her on Twitter and don’t forget The Best Tweet I Can Find In Five Minutes at the end.

TC: What is the weirdest interaction you’ve had with someone after one of your shows?

CL: A woman approached me after a show and told me she loved my nail salon bit on YouTube. I knew she was talking about Angela Johnson but she seemed so happy to meet “me” that I just played along and said thanks. Note: Angela is 5-foot-4, and I’m 6-feet.

TC: The eyes rolling back in your head/sexual pleasure joke you did on Letterman is so funny. You end that joke by simply saying “No,” followed by a chuckle, then silence, then audience laughter. Were crowds on board with that punchline right away?

CL: Thank you. Yes, I think so. I think the earliest one can get that joke is when there’s silence after the “No” because they are expecting me to say more. But sometimes people don’t get it until I start the next joke, which is fine, too.

Some crowds don’t get it at all. They just look confused. That’s actually kind of funny too, but only for me.

TC: How would you describe your experience performing for the troops in Kuwait and Iraq?

CL: Eye-opening. Everyone out there is extremely grateful to have comedians travel and perform for them, and we get to see how much the soldiers are sacrificing for us, which puts everything into perspective. We also ran a 5K in Kuwait, drove through Baghdad and rode in a Black Hawk, so it was a pretty memorable trip.

TC: If you could completely and permanently destroy one annoying internet, TV or tabloid thing, what would it be and why?

CL: Any video that’s longer than 30 seconds needs to go. OK, not all, but probably most.

TC: Are you worried that crazy web series fans will start camping outside your apartment and harassing you guys? I mean, how many Apt. C3s can there be in New York City?

CL: Well, we like to make people think we shot it in NYC. OK, seriously, we already have a lot of freaks in our neighborhood, so they’d totally be welcome.

Here it is, The Best Tweet I Can Find In Five Minutes: