If I laugh, then at least it’s funny to me


The first stand-up comic I saw live was Carrot Top at Western Carolina University during my freshman year there. It was 1992.

The Top fucking killed. I got his autograph after the show. My friend, Chris, aka Squatch (short for Sasquatch, because he was a 6-foot-4, 250-pound, hairy motherfucker) had the Top sign his bald head. I had the Top sign my ticket. Pretty sure Squatch got that one right.

I’d like to be able to say that I saw a ton of comedians soon after the Top’s show and fashion myself as some informed comedy-watching veteran, but I didn’t and, compared to many, I’m not.

However, in a recent five-day span, I saw Doug Stanhope and Todd Barry, comedy veterans and two of my all-time favorite stand-ups.

I follow hundreds of comics on Twitter. Some of them followed me back. That last sentence made me smile.

I have to end this, because “Intervention” is coming on soon, but before I go, I should inform you that I’m going to try to write funny stuff in this space a couple of times a month. Once a week, when I’m on a serious, or even a casual, crystal meth binge.

Perhaps I’ll wrangle an interview with a comedian or two. I may rant about the latest stupid celebrity doing stupid celebrity things. (You’ve been warned, Ryan Lochte, although after hearing you speak in interviews, I question your ability to read.)

Hell, I may just record some of the daily conversations I have with my 83-year-old grandma and transcribe them. Trust me. That shit is comedy gold.

No matter what I come up with, I’ll end each column with the best tweet I can find in five minutes. We’ll call it The Best Tweet I Can Find In Five Minutes.

Today’s winner …


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Photo Credit: Kadellar (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons